ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
