At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
