I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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