Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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