She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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