this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
