do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
