I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
did i walk over a car last night?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
