I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
