Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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