I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
