with your own penis?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
