The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
