what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
