The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
