Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
