sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
