We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
