Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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