Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
