I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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