I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
