What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
