Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
