That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
