So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
