you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
