I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Im part way to drunk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
