Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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