Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize