hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
