How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
