I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
