Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
