i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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