..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
