Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He passed out mid-signature
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
