Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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