I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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