dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
