My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize