let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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