Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
