If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
