I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
