She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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