My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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