can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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