You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
