my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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