So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
