Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
