well I can't set my house on fire every night
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
