do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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