He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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