I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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