man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
