Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
