you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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