i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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