i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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