Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
