Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
