do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
