Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
God I need to hump something, right now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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