i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize