Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
