She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize